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Thorin’s first holiday in decades was going great: he was stuck in the Shire instead of relaxing in the Blue Mountains, his map was clearly faulty, and now there was an impertinent hobbit telling him he had gotten lost. He should have just stayed in Erebor.
On his way back to the Blue Mountains from a meeting in Rivendell, Thorin is ambushed on the forest path. His would-be attacker is not at all what he expected, however - instead a poor and hungry hobbit looking to steal his food. Fortunately for Thorin, this hobbit makes a god damn awful thief.
Bilbo, recently having been transferred to London Police Department, was just assigned his biggest case yet; a covert operation to take down one of the most notorious crime-bosses. To his chagrin, however, not only is he going undercover as a newlywed at a couples resort, but as the loving husband of perhaps the most infuriating man in the whole department; Thorin Oakenshield.
A pretend relationship AU in which Bilbo and Thorin go undercover in a couples resort being used as a money laundering front to get the evidence they need to put a major crime boss behind bars.
After suffering the loss of his parents young Bilbo is quite unsure what will become of him. Thanks to a letter his mother wrote he comes to be in the care of Lord Fundin who is the Steward of the Blue Mountains. Lord Fundin's sons Balin and Dwalin welcome the lost hobbit as a brother. Through them Bilbo is brought up as a dwarf and learns all about their intricate culture. When a dragon attacks Erebor Bilbo fears for the fate of his brothers and hurries to the Lonely Mountain. He learns that they are well and that the young Prince Thorin managed to rally support and defeat the dragon. Unfortunately while he is there Bilbo catches the eyes of several notable dwarves (much to the worry of his brothers) and yet seems entirely unaware of it (cause for further concern). As events pass Bilbo starts to wonder just how much Took he has in his blood, certainly no proper Baggins would have these problems.
Flowers bloomed beneath his very feet, and the sun shone upon his head like a halo. As long as Bilbo Baggins walked the lands they would surely be blessed with life for eternity. An AU inspired and based on the myth of Demeter and Persephone.
They had lived next door to each other for six years. The first year, they didn't notice each other much. The next five, they spent hating each other's guts.