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Bilbo enjoys his quiet existence as a librarian and is perfectly content with living adventure only through books. He's got a nice house and a good job; if his love life is lacking a little, well, that's his own problem and he doesn't let it bother him. But then the arrival of an old family friend with a penchant for fireworks and grey clothes puts a definite spanner in the works, and Bilbo suddenly has a boyfriend and is on his way to meet the in-laws. Of course, nothing is ever easy for Bilbo Baggins.
Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo Baggins have been friends since they attended the same university some years ago. Bilbo decides one day to surprise Thorin by making the long flight over to spend the holidays with him. Unfortunately, Thorin's house is currently overrun with family who seem too interested in Thorin's (lack of) love life. Misunderstandings occur and suddenly Thorin and Bilbo are boyfriends - but not really. They've done crazier things before; surely pretending to be together will be a piece of cake. Right?
'Alone this Yuletide? Irritated with prying and nosey family members? I am an out of work blacksmith currently trying to make my way by any means necessary that does not involve my resorting to thievery (prisons are most uncomfortable, I've unfortunate first hand experience). However, if you would like me to be your strictly platonic companion for any social function, but have me pretend that we are in a serious courtship, so as to torment your family and ward off unwanted suitors then I am more than obliging...' After becoming increasingly irritated by overtures of romance from various Shire residents following the death of his mother four years ago, Bilbo is more than ready to resort to desperate measures. That is, up to and including pretending to be in a serious relationship with a certain surly blacksmith currently inhabiting the Bindbale Woods. It's a good idea after all; all they have to do is pretend to be in love over the Yuletide period and Bilbo's family and suitors will surely leave him alone after that. It's perfect! And nothing can possibly go wrong, right? Certainly nothing as preposterous as falling for one another for real...
Bilbo, recently having been transferred to London Police Department, was just assigned his biggest case yet; a covert operation to take down one of the most notorious crime-bosses. To his chagrin, however, not only is he going undercover as a newlywed at a couples resort, but as the loving husband of perhaps the most infuriating man in the whole department; Thorin Oakenshield.
A pretend relationship AU in which Bilbo and Thorin go undercover in a couples resort being used as a money laundering front to get the evidence they need to put a major crime boss behind bars.