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Bilbo's door gets jammed one day. Luckily, a company of dwarves just so happened to have set up shop in front of the old smithy.
Bilbo has always been suspicious about blind dates. This, however, seems to really promising: a nice evening in his favourite restaurant with a charming man. But when things start to get wrong, Bilbo wonders is this blind date was a good idea … And it’s not helpful at all that the waiter is that handsome!
At the same time, Thorin keeps telling himself that it isn't his way to pine after someone. But soon, he finds himself trying to explain to Bilbo why he messed up his date on purpose...
Bilbo isn't having a great deal of luck lately ... not in the dating department anyway. The only good things have been that new restaurant and the handsome waiter ... he's so nice! But Dwalin may have figured out exactly WHY Bilbo has been having such a bad time of it ...
Bilbo Baggins lives a boring life with the usual boring neighbours, your typical boring colleagues and a loud and annoying string of children he's supposed to teach. He’s quite fine with walking around in nothing but his pants most days, drinking milk out of the carton and living off of re-heated takeaway and occasionally letting his dog Azog run rampant on his annoying neighbour. That is, until, he starts receiving frightening letters and gifts in the mail from an ‘admirer’.
Bilbo, babysitter to the little monsters Fili and Kili, finds his quiet life in utter shambles when the madness of the Durin family begins to attract itself to him.
Part 1 of Babysitter!AU
It's only the sixth and Bilbo officially already hates the Christmas season. There's only so many times he can listen to Fili and Kili sing Ding Dong Merrily On High out of tune before he brains himself on the coffee table.
Part 5 of Babysitter!AU
Bilbo Baggins has lived a solitary life, and finds it helps him in surviving when the Outbreak happens. So when he's saved by a small fraction of the military that has managed to survive he's thrust back into humanity, fighting to make his way to Erebor, a safe haven for all survivors.
Thorin was certain he had a problem. After all, the man looked like a bloody grocer- like some curly haired, bright eyed, bushy tailed cherub: totally vanilla and not sexy in any way at all. At least, that was what Thorin was trying to tell himself.
Take a dragon and get rid of it, take a Kingdom under the Mountain and let it thrive under Thráin’s rule, take the King’s eldest son - as proud and arrogant as you can picture him - and then send him to the Shire in order to refine his diplomatic skills. Or, as his sister puts it: to grow them at last. Now, throw in the Master of Bag End playing host for the dwarf prince: you’ll get a clash of cultures, an ill-advised bet about educating a certain hobbit in the dwarf-lore, and all the pride and prejudice business you could hope for, plus Khuzdul. A retelling inspired by My Fair Lady.
Nori teaches Bilbo how to throw knives, something which the company are delighted to find he has a talent for. However, Thorin may have a few words on the matter himself.