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Thorin really really really likes Christmas. He's absolutely nuts about it. Bilbo would rather throw his horribly christmassy neighbor away, but Frodo is just so attached to him, that Bilbo doesn't have the heart. Also, he's unbearably attractive, so really it'd be a waste. Thorin is a Christmas dork and Bilbo is the neighbor secretly crushing on him.
“So that’s your gardener’s name? Bilbo?”
“Bilbo Baggins, and he’s our gardener. Don’t give me that look, Thorin Durin! He’s been recommended to me by Gandalf –”
“Now that changes everything …”
“… and not only has he made great progress in the short time he’s here, but he’s also a very nice man and considerate enough to put some flowers in your room at your return although I warned him how … stubborn you can be.”
Thorin noticed the little pause very well. “You called me an idiot, didn’t you?”
Bilbo has always been suspicious about blind dates. This, however, seems to really promising: a nice evening in his favourite restaurant with a charming man. But when things start to get wrong, Bilbo wonders is this blind date was a good idea … And it’s not helpful at all that the waiter is that handsome!
At the same time, Thorin keeps telling himself that it isn't his way to pine after someone. But soon, he finds himself trying to explain to Bilbo why he messed up his date on purpose...
Thorin’s first holiday in decades was going great: he was stuck in the Shire instead of relaxing in the Blue Mountains, his map was clearly faulty, and now there was an impertinent hobbit telling him he had gotten lost. He should have just stayed in Erebor.
Bilbo isn't having a great deal of luck lately ... not in the dating department anyway. The only good things have been that new restaurant and the handsome waiter ... he's so nice! But Dwalin may have figured out exactly WHY Bilbo has been having such a bad time of it ...
Bilbo Baggins lives a boring life with the usual boring neighbours, your typical boring colleagues and a loud and annoying string of children he's supposed to teach. He’s quite fine with walking around in nothing but his pants most days, drinking milk out of the carton and living off of re-heated takeaway and occasionally letting his dog Azog run rampant on his annoying neighbour. That is, until, he starts receiving frightening letters and gifts in the mail from an ‘admirer’.
Bilbo, babysitter to the little monsters Fili and Kili, finds his quiet life in utter shambles when the madness of the Durin family begins to attract itself to him.
Part 1 of Babysitter!AU
It's only the sixth and Bilbo officially already hates the Christmas season. There's only so many times he can listen to Fili and Kili sing Ding Dong Merrily On High out of tune before he brains himself on the coffee table.
Part 5 of Babysitter!AU
Thorin was certain he had a problem. After all, the man looked like a bloody grocer- like some curly haired, bright eyed, bushy tailed cherub: totally vanilla and not sexy in any way at all. At least, that was what Thorin was trying to tell himself.
“I’m not the stupid one- you know why? Because you were the one who came up with the idea of soaking Thrandy’s clothes in gasoline while they were drying on the line.” “I didn’t know they were going to have a barbeque in the backyard, did I? What am I, psychic?” “The whole washing line set on fire, Kili.” “Oh, shut up and help me up.” They both managed to scramble to their feet before slowly opening the door and peering out of the supply closet they’d been hiding in. A bright light shone over their faces, blinding them, and someone cleared their throat before speaking out. “Evening, gentlemen.” Fili looked up at the security guard. “Oh, shit.”
Part 6 of Babysitter!AU