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Stede Bonnet's love life is completely non-existent and an utter tragedy to behold - At least, according to those closest in his life.
Thus they're compelled to do what any group comprised of an ex-wife, co-workers turned friends through sheer proximity, and assorted significant others of aforementioned co-workers turned friends would do: Set up five blind dates that Stede Bonnet has no choice but to go on.
Stede keeps on showing up ridiculously early to these dates, but at least the bartender is friendly.
Stede sits down to read his nightly bedtime story to the crew of the Revenge, only to discover that Lucius has saddled him with a particularly trashy novel in which a gentleman and a pirate begin a hot and heavy romance. Ed has been on board for several weeks, and everyone is sick of the slow burn and apparently ready to shove them down the path to a real romance by whatever means they can.
As Stede reads (and tries to work out who the author of the story might be), they'll bicker their way through romance tropes, story structures, and what it means to have a happy ending. And if by the end of this night Edward Teach isn't in Stede Bonnet's bed, Lucius will probably have to eat his match-making hat...
It's the first Christmas since Stede Bonnet's divorce. His kids are with their mother, and with nowhere else to go, he decides to go down south to the Dominican Republic for two weeks over Christmas and New Year's. There, he meets Ed, who is his neighbour and is also there by himself. Both men are dealing with loneliness and drama in their personal lives, but find comfort in one another.
In which Stede, upon being told he was supposed to marry Mary, decided to give up his wealth and privilege and dedicate his life to the service of god.
Or: The story of how Edward Teach fell in love with a priest.
Merfolk Prince Stede rescues an injured Blackbeard after a mutiny - can he help his new friend find his ship and get revenge?